Requiem for the Insignificant
by Intangible.Insanity
Summary: N'importe quoi pour vous. Rien n'est important. -Papa/ Family. What was that? You wouldn't know, now would you? -Dad/ I'm not a hero! I-I'm not a hero. -Alfred/ It would be like watching them clip your wings. -Gilbert...AU, character death.
1. Papa

Umm, hi. This was the other fic I was talking 'bout in 'That's Okay'.

I wrote this for school...So, eheh?

It was originally suppose to be a huge one-shot, but I decided to be not lazy for once and hacked it up into 4 chapters.

The last flashback was inspired by _A New Guardian and Other Stories _by DA4TheFunOfIt.

Sorry about any translation problems or any other thing that is wrong.

...Enjoy?

**Disclaimer:** Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.

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><p><strong>Requiem for the Insignificant<strong>

A Bear (A Word**– **Why)

Mon cher, mon chaton, mon petit, mon fils! Mathieu, why did you do this to yourself? Why! Why? Why?...why...Do..do you hate me? _(Hate me for abondoning you?) _Désolé, mon cher, désolé... I-I never meant to give you away- I never meant to! I...I knew that he would always love your frère more than you. But, I had to, I had to! _(Everything was falling apart, I had lost and he took you away)_ I wanted you to have a good life, but not like this, mon cher, not like this.

Or maybe its because we never noticed you? Or that we didn't even remember you? Maybe it was because we always noticed your frère and when we did notice you, we thought you were him? Perhaps, it was that he always overshadowed you? Is it that we never seemed to love you? _(Maybe it was all of these?)_

I remember that day, that horrible day. It was just a few weeks ago, it was a such beautiful day. _(Yet, I remember it like yesterday) _It was a cool winter day, snow was falling from the sky, covering everything in a soft blanket of snow. _(You had always loved snow) _I had decided to visit you while your père and frère weren't home. _(Never knowing the horror that would lie in my wake)_

I had only come to visit and yet...

_"Mon dieu! Mathieu!", I shrieked, collasping onto the tiled floor of the bathroom._

_"Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non...", I moaned burying my face in my hands, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. Why...How? Mon chaton? Blood...so much blood...Why? Pourquoi? Mon cher is gone? I-he what? What happened? Why?_

_Shakily, I gathered my wits and slowly raised my head. The sight before me made my heart ache, like someone had stabbed me with a dagger and kept on twisting the blade around and around._

_A limp form lay several feet away from me. The form was lanky and thin, they lay spread eagle in a large pool of crimson blood, their...your delicate wrists slit open. Your skin was as pale as can be, your silky wheat-coloured hair fanned lightly around your face, the light reflecting off it creating a halo. A small serene smile was transfixed onto your angelic features and your beautiful eyes closed behind your glasses, never to open again. At your side was a bloodied razor, a photo and a small stuffed polar bear._

_A wail escaped my throat as I struggled to keep tears at bay. My vison blurred, blinded by tears as I reached out to cradle you in my arms._

_You...you couldn't be dead, you couldn't!_

_I didn't care that blood was seeping into my clothes._

_I didn't care if I was sobbing mess._

_I didn't care if I was crying._

_I didn't care if your père and frère came home._

_I just want you to wake up!_

_"M-mon cher, wake up.", I cooed softly, just like I use to do when you were a child. "Wake up, wake up.", I mumured into your ear._

_Silence._

_"Mathieu, just please, please wake up.", I pleaded, feeling more desprate, sobs bubbled from my throat._

_Silence._

_I raise one of my hands to caress your pale cheek. Droplets hit your pale skin and rolled down, making it look like you were crying, when it was really me. "Wake up, everything will be better if you wake up! I promise!", I sobbed hysterically, clutching you closer to my chest. __"Mathieu, just listen to your papa!"_

_Silence._

_"Je suis désolé, réveillez-vous juste! Réveillez-vous juste, je ne me soucie pas, je veux juste que vous vous réveilliez, s'il vous plaît!", subconsciously I switch to my native tongue, because you always responded better to French._

_Silence._

_"Mathieu! Mon fils, je suis désolé, je suis désolé ainsi!", my voice cracked as I pressed my face into your hair, waiting for an answer that would never come._

_Nothing._

_Silence._

Later, they told me that the wounds were self inflicted. And I wondered why? _(Why would you do such horrible things to yourself?)_

A few days after you passed away, your père came to visit and gave me something. He looked like he hadn't had any sleep, his wild sandy blonde hair, messier than usual and his skin was blanched. The typical scowl of his was gone, replaced with a bitter, sad smile and his vivid green eyes had lost their ferocious glint, instead in it's place were smothered embers.

He handed me a soft object and left, your père's head was held high and proud, nonetheless his shoulders were slumped in defeat. _(For not being a good father)_

I was too numb to register what it was, swept up in my grief, I left it alone. It wasn't until after many days and nights that I realized what it was. It was a stuffed polar bear. It had fluffly white fur with strange light-coloured stains, it looked ragged and worn, very well loved. It's shiny black eyes stared at me accusingly.

I realized it wasn't any other bear, it was _your _bear.

The said bear was currently at my side. My lips twitched, my hand gingerly grasped the bear as if it was made out of glass and placed it in my lap. _(Because it was one of your most treasured possessions) _I let out a hum and quietly took a sip of wine. Closing my eyes, a fond smile curled on my lips as I remembered how you got your bear.

_I hummed softly to myself as I walked down the street with you in hand. You were only up to my knee, your blonde hair brushed against your shoulders and your wide, doe-like eyes peered at everything with curiosity._

_Looking up again, I ran though my mental list of errands. I wondered if you would of wanted to go to the library instead. I turned to speak to you._

_"Mon chaton...?", I trailed off, noticing that you weren't at my side. Whipping my head around searching for you. I backpedaled looking for you, ignoring the panic that seized my chest._

_Fortunately, it was still early and there were few people occuping the street. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small form with flaxen hair. I let out a sigh of relief and quickly made my way towards you. Your indigo eyes were staring through the window of a toy store, right at a teddy bear. You seemed so captivated by the bear that you didn't notice my presence, your eyes stared longingly at it._

_The bear itself wasn't special. It had soft white fur and shiny black eyes. Nothing special. Yet, it seemed to enthral you._

_I placed a hand on your shoulder, watching in amusement as you jolted. "Papa!", you squeaked._

_Glancing down at you, I asked softly, "Mon petit, you want t'at bear, oui?"_

_You quickly adverted your eyes. "N-non! I do n-not want to trouble you.", you whispered timorously._

_My eyes soften and asked again. "Non? Are you sure?"_

_You nodded and tugged on my sleeve. "Allons-y!", you said, pulling me away from the window._

_I let out a loud sigh, mon cher is too modest!_

_As we strode down the street again, I saw your head turn slightly, eyes lingering on the bear. A plan formulated in my mind and I grinned down at you. I quickly hauled you to the library._

_"Mon cher, you stay 'ere, w'ile I do some errands, oui?", I told you._

_"O-okay, Papa...", you murmured shyly and hesitantly waved good-bye._

_I swiftly did my errands first and started to head back to the library, until I stopped at the toy store. Excitement bubbled inside of me, you were going to love it!_

_I waltzed into the library, gaining odd stares. I ignored them, weaving around bookcases and people until I found you, sitting in a chair, absorbed into a book. Sauntering up to you, I leaned in and whispered, "I'm back." __You jolted and quickly slammed the book shut._

_"Let's go.", I smiled, taking you by the hand and leading you outside._

_By the time we were outside, a full blown grin had made itself know. You glanced at me with confusion, "Papa, why are you so happy?", you inquired softly._

_I beam at you. "I 'ave a gift for you.", I said, herding you towards a park bench. You tilted your head to the side in bewilderment, like a lost puppy. Reaching into the bag I held, I pulled out the teddy bear and handed it to you._

_You let a gasp, eyes wide. Your hands trembled as they gently held the bear. Without a second thought you flung yourself at me._

_"Merci! Merci beaucoup! Merci, Papa!", you cried into my chest._

_I stroked your wheat-coloured hair. __"N'importe quoi pour vous. Rien n'est important."_

I blinked tears away as my smile melted. Fingering the bear's fur, I took another dainty sip of wine. I can't believe you still have this old thing. _(But I guess you were never one to part with things) _Guilt welled up in my heart at the statement as another memory invaded my mind.

_I-I can't believe it...everything is gone... I tiredly raked my fingers through my flaxen hair. I had lost everything. Everything! Even my sweet Mathieu! How am I going to tell him? Tell him that I can't be his papa anymore?_

_"Papa! Papa! Don't leave!", you wailed, your __père's hand was clamped onto your shoulder. You looked like you wanted to run, but I knew you would never. My heart clenched in pain at your words. "Papa, you promised! __Vous avez promis que vous ne me quitteriez jamais!"_

_"Papa! __Please, I'll be good! S'il vous plaît!", you sobbed, your pale hand reaching out._

_My heart felt like it would burst in agony. How badly I wanted to rip you from him, and cradle you in my arms. But my body stayed put, my hands clenched into tight fists at my side. Nails dug into my palm, nearly drawing out blood. My head was turned away, blonde hair shielding my eyes, but it could not shield my ears. Every cry and plead broke my heart._

_I steeled myself to face you and your père._

_You were a heartrending sight. Your eyes were red and swollen from crying, tears rolling down your pale cheeks. Soft sobs and hiccups escaped your throat. Hurt, despair, betrayal and hope were all lurking in your indigo eyes in an emotional mess. You whimpered poignantly to yourself._

_Your père was a different story. Standing proud and tall, his sharp viridian eyes watching my every move. His hand held onto your shoulder. His lips were curled into an arrogant smirk, your père's emerald eyes practically glowed with triumph and haughtiness._

_"Arthur, may I speak to Mathieu, alone?", my voice was suddenly dry._

_His prominent eyebrows furrowed, "Well, I suppose it won't do any harm...Fine, but make it quick." He released you from his grip and walked out of the room, his smirk growing wider with each step._

_You staggered without his support and peered up at me. "Please d-don't leave me!", you said in a tiny voice._

_I quickly kneeled down and wrapped my arms around you. __"Oh, mon cher! Je suis désolé très. __I really am, we won't see eac' ot'er for a long, long time. You have to stay with your père now.", I said softly._

_You pulled away. "B-but I want to stay with y-you, he's n-not my père. Y-you are.", you sniffed, teary indigo eyes staring back into my own._

_"I know, mon petit, I know. Please promise me t'at you will be a good boy for your père?", I asked, wiping your tears away with my hand._

_You bit your lip and nodded. "T'at's good. Love him as much as you love me, oui?" Another nod._

_"Mon chaton, don't worry, I'll come back. I will always come back.", I murmured, gently cupping your pale cheek. "Just promise me t'at you will never forget me?", I whispered, adverting my eyes, willing myself not to cry in front of you._

_"O-oui, Papa.", another stifled sob._

_"Mathieu, one more thing. Please remember me as your papa?", I asked, desperate._

_A frantic nod, crystal tears spilling._

_I smiled a sad smile. "Mathieu, before you go, please smile, cheer up. Do not be sad. We will see eac' ot'er again, we will."_

_You reached up and wiped your tears. With glassy eyes, you managed a weak smile. Tiny arms around my neck, you hugged me tight. I gave a heartbreaking smile, holding you just as tight, burying my nose into your soft golden locks. We stayed like that for who know how long, an eternity?_

_Loathingly, I let go. "__Bon! Isn't that better?", I praised, my voice wavering._

_A knock on the door sounded. "Hurry up, frog! I don't have all day!"_

_"All t'at I want to say is, je suis vraiment désolé et je t'aime.", I quickly brushed my lips tenderly against your forehead and lead you to the door._

_As your __père took you away, my finger nails resumed to dig into my palm. Droplets of vermillion fell to the wooden floors below. A single tear fell onto my cheek. Shakily, I raised my hand to feel. I stopped trying to keep my tears at bay. Laughter bubbled from my throat. My knees giving out from under me, I threw my head back. Laughing hysterically, I cried and laughed for my lost._

When we first saw each other, years after our separation, I had thought that you hated me but to my surprise you forgave me. A sad smile touched my lips. You were always such a forgiving child. I wonder if you would forgive us now? _(Of course, what a kind soul you were)_

Pressing my face into the fur of your bear, I inhaled deeply. Searching for your familiar scent, instead I smelt bleach and some other scents. I longed for your comforting scent of maple, roses, tea and frost.

I swallowed some more wine, stared at the bear with tired eyes. Raising the glass of wine into the moonlight, I gently swirled the wine, before downing it. I took the time I had with you for granted and this was the result. The result of your père's, your frère's and mine. _(The result of our ignorance.)_ I wish I had more chances to say that I love you.

_Je vous aime, ai toujours et va toujours faire. Nous ne vous oublierons jamais. Je vous aimerai pour toujours._

A thin, pale blonde man was sitting in bed, a glass of wine in hand and a stuffed polar bear in his lap. He has a sad, regretful smile upon his face; his sapphire blue eyes were glassy with unshed tears as he reached out towards nothing. Lovingly caressed the air as if something or _someone_ was there.

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><p><span>Translations:<span>

**Mon cher, mon chaton, mon petit, mon fils! - **My dear, my kitten, my boy, my son!

**Désolé, mon cher, désolé... - **Sorry, my dear, sorry...

**Frère - **Brother

**Mon dieu! - **My god!

**Non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non, non... - **No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

**Pourquoi? - **Why?

**Je suis désolé, réveillez-vous juste! Réveillez-vous juste, je ne me soucie pas, je veux juste que vous vous réveilliez, s'il vous plaît!** - It roughly translate to: I'm sorry, just wake up! Just wake up, I don't care, I just want you to wake up, please!

**Mathieu! Mon fils, je suis désolé, je suis désolé ainsi!** - Matthew! My son, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

**Oui -** Yes

**Allons-y!** - Let's go!

**Merci! Merci beaucoup! Merci, Papa! **- Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you, Papa!

**N'importe quoi pour vous. Rien n'est important.** - Anything for you. Nothing matters.

**S'il vous plaît! **- Please!

**Vous avez promis que vous ne me quitteriez jamais!** - You promised that you would never leave me!

**Je suis désolé très. **- I am very sorry.

**Je suis vraiment désolé et je t'aime.** - I am really sorry and I love you.

**Je vous aime, ai toujours et va toujours faire. Nous ne vous oublierons jamais. Je vous aimerai pour toujours. - **I love you, have always and will always. We will never forget you. I will love you forever.

Hope you enjoyed this, the other chapters will be up soon.


	2. Dad

Hi, this is the second chapter. Also, I want to thank .Computer for reviewing.

Again, this chapter was inspired by DA4TheFunOfIt's _A New Guardian and Other Stories._

Sorry for any OOCness.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything.

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><p><strong>Requiem for the Insignificant<strong>

A Ribbon (A Wish)

If I had known. If only we _all_ had known. Then it wouldn't have lead to this. I can't believe how ignorant and oblivious we were. How long had this been going through your head? _(Probably more that I can count) _How many times had you cried yourself to sleep? _(For as long as you could remember?) _How many times have we forgotten you? _(Many a times) _How long have you started hurting yourself? _(I-I don't know) _How many other things do we don't know about you? (_I guess I-we will never have a chance to) _I wonder, if we noticed you and loved you more, would have it ended differently? _(Yes)_

I guess it seemed that I always loved your brother more. _(Yes, yes, that was how it seemed) _Truth to be told, I loved you both equally, although it may not have seemed that way. When I first got you from the frog, I marvelled how much you and your brother looked akin to each other. How daft was I to think this? You and your brother were twins! Of course you two would look alike! You both had blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, nearly identical faces and hell, probably the same height and weight. But then, there were differences that others over looked. _(I, myself being one of them) _Your personalities, you were more gentle, quiet and polite whereas your brother is loud, barmy and idiotic. Like how your brother's eyes are bright cerulean, whilst your's were a blue-purple, indigo. Or how your brother's hair was fair and short with a stubborn cowlick and your's was a shade darker, a tad bit longer with a slight wave and you also had a errant curl that hung in front of your face. _(How couldn't I not notice these things)_

Taking a gulp of whisky, a dark smile made itself known. I closed my eyes, I remembered the day you left.

_The frigid wind blew, slapping snow into my face and blinding my sight._

_Blasted cold! Why did we have to live in Canada? I wish we could move back to England. I walked briskly across the street, newspaper in hand. Making my way onto the porch, my numb fingers fumbling with the keys. Looking at the doorknob, I realized that the door was already opened._

_What the? Aw, bloody bollocks! Did Alfred leave the door unlocked? Or maybe a thief? I quickly stepped inside the house. Grabbing a hockey stick that was conveniently located by the doorway. I frowned when I heard loud sobs and wails sounding from the second floor._

_I quietly snuck upstairs. I rounded the corner and the cries became louder. And it sounded quite like...the frog?_

_Light filtered from the bathroom door, I narrowed my eyes and clutched the hockey stick tighter. Unintelligible murmurs of French confirmed my suspicions. Bloody wanker! How did he get into the house? Maybe...err...Alfred's brother let him in. And why in bloody heavens was that barmy wanker crying? The only time I saw him cry was when Jeanne passed away and when he gave poppet to me._

_I placed the hockey stick on the wall and stormed towards the bathroom._

_Slamming the door open, my eyes widened. The frog was in the middle of the room, his clothes soaked in blood, staining them crimson. Whimpers of __unfathomable phrases of muddled up French and English left the Frenchman's lips. His eyes were puffy and red as if he had been blubbing. The frog was holding a still form in his arms. A lock of wavy wheat-coloured hair caught my attention._

_Time seemed to stop and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Icy claws gripped my heart._

_"P-poppet?", I wheezed, realizing who it really was. It couldn't be poppet! He was always the obedient child, the kind and quiet one! What happened? What happened?_

_"What happened!", I demanded, praying the worst hadn't happened._

_The frog didn't seem to notice me, he gingerly held the still body close. His lifeless sapphire blue eyes transfixed onto the body's face as he kept on crooning feverishly in a broken voice._

_I kneeled by the frog's side. I scanned the body, I finally notice his wrists. "Oh god. His bloody wrists...", I hissed, checking for a pulse._

_A pale hand pushed it aside. "Don't try, 'e's gone.", the frog stated dully, still cradling the body in his arms._

_The icy claw that gripped my heart, tightened, tips of the claw piercing it. Emptiness in my chest welled, choking me. I couldn't feel my senses, just the cold, wreathing around me, swallowing me up in its unforgiving embrace._

_Something wet hit my hand. I touched my cheek, staring at my hand. I-...I was crying. Tears just kept on falling. Stop! Stop it! I screamed at myself. Quit crying! But I couldn't._

I hated crying, crying was...was a weakness. But then... _(You told me once that there was a certain strength needed to be able cry when you should)_ I don't regret crying. The cold still wreathes around me, but the tears make it fade.

Poppet, I guess we got off on a rocky start. The way you shied away from me or how you didn't talk to me, it stung. _(It stung because you were like a second Alfred)_ While your brother would tackle me with hugs, you would shy away. He would ramble and chat with me, you would only murmur sentences. Your brother would flash bright smiles at me, while you would only give a broken smile. You rejecting me was like your brother rejecting me. _(You looked like the one person that I love with all my heart) _I guess that's why I was so callous with you, you weren't like your brother. Your brother was brash and loud, I could deal with that, I just didn't know how to approach you.

You were also a constant reminder of that wine bastard. How much I hated him back then, I still don't like him.

Forgive me, luv. I never meant to neglect you or treat you so harshly. Maybe if I let the bloody frog visit you, then this might've not happened. Or if I paid more attention to you and at least tried to open up to you. _(I blame myself)_

I sighed and leaned against the doorframe. Taking a swig of my bottle of whisky, I stumbled into the room and collapsed onto the floor. It was your room, there was nothing out of the ordinary in it, just some picture frames here and there.

Most of them with the frog, your brother and myself, but a few had others with them. I stood up, wavering slightly and crumpled into the bed. Gulping down more whisky, I eyed a silver picture frame on the nightstand. I grabbed it and gazed at the people in the photo.

There you were in the middle. Dressed in a red sweater, your blonde hair gently framed your pale face, a happy smile hung on your lips and your indigo eyes bright. _(These last few years, I've never seen you so happy)_

A very pale boy stood beside you, arm throw around your shoulder, holding you tight. He had a devilish smirk on his face and his carmine-coloured eyes gazed at you. A girl stood beside you, she had benign blue-gray eyes and short pale blonde hair, held back by a green head band and clips. Her arm was linked with your's and another girl. She had a petit build and was smiling demurely. Her blonde hair was cut in a chin-length bob cut that donned a blue ribbon and her green eyes glowed with warmth. A boy stood behind you and the pale blonde girl, his hand on her shoulder. The boy had similar features like the pale blonde girl, probably siblings. He was tall, towering over the others, he, too had pale blonde hair and purple eyes. The boy smile gently at the camera, yet it seemed creepy and frightening. Another young man stood beside the petit blonde girl. His choppy dark brown hair that framed his face, his expression was stoic. But the raised corners of his lips and the content look in his brown eyes told something else. A taller, happy and cheery boy stood beside him, hugging another person's arm. He had somewhat curly brown hair, bright green eyes and lightly tanned skin. His upbeat smile proved that he was a happy-go-lucky type of person. And at the edge of the group was an ill-tempered looking boy, he wore a scowl on his face which was directed towards the cheery boy, who was hugging his arm. He had dark brown hair with an odd curl to the right of his head, amber eyes and an olive complexion. The soft look in his eyes was hard to miss.

Friends. They were your friends. That happiness, we could never recreate. If...if someone saw this they would probably think that they were your family not us. I let out a bitter laugh. _(On the other hand, it was true. They were family to you, more than we would ever be)_

Family. What was that? You wouldn't know, now would you?

Slowly sipping the burning alcohol, I remembered their reactions towards your death.

_"You bastard! It's your fault! Your fault that this happened!", the silvery white haired boy snarled, gripping the collar of Alfred's shirt. Alfred let out a cry of surprise, thrashing and flailing his arms and legs. His group of friends stood behind them, watching with grief stricken and grim expressions. I stared, startled by the ferocity and rage in his ruby red eyes._

_Something clicked in my head, they were poppet's friends. I felt pang of guilt. I guess it seemed like they found out...The platinum blonde haired girl, Yekaterina was her name, was crying softly. "G-gilbert, please don't f-fight!", she said tearily, the petit blonde beside her was too, crying._

_The albino's head whipped around. "But, Katyusha!", he loosened his grip on Alfred's shirt, his eyes softening._

_"Please!", she cried pleadingly. The tallest of the group, a pale haired boy, placed a comforting arm over her shoulders._

_"What do you mean, 'our fault'? What's our fault?", Alfred spoke, confused, an idiotic look plastered over his face. From my place by the porch, I narrowed my eyes at him. He was lying, he knows what he's talking about. Alfred might be oblivious and dense, but he's not all that stupid. What is that git playing at?_

_"Don't know! You don't know!", Gilbert screamed in fury, jerking Alfred up to his height, so that they were eye to eye. "Don't play dumb with me!", he snapped. "Don't tell me that you don't know that your brother, your own goddamn __**twin**__ brother is dead!"_

_Alfred's face twisted into a look of sorrow, then anger. "Of course, I know! What gives you the right to scream at me about it!", he sneered at the albino. Gilbert's eyes flashed like crimson fire._

_The pale blonde stepped up from his post by Yekaterina to intervene. "Alfred, I do not think that is smart, da?", the young man's Russian accent was clearly heard._

_"I don't care! Ivan, you jerk, stay out of this!", Alfred retorted snippily, glaring at him._

_"Do you want to fight, Alfred?", an eerie smile broke out on Ivan's face._

_My son smirked cockily. "Bring it o-", the daft git challenged, choking on the end as Gilbert's violently jerked the collar of his shirt to get his attention. The albino's fringe covered his eyes._

_"The right?", he whispered harshly._

_"The right?", he repeated, chuckling darkly. His group of friends, except for Ivan, looked at unease and on edge at his change in demeanour. Alfred eyes turned darker with slight fear as he struggled to get out of the albino's grip. I frowned, Alfred, that bloody git!_

_Gilbert slowly raised his head, revealing dark vermillion eyes. "If I don't have the right, then why do you?", he hisses, his eyes glaring at Alfred then flickering to me. The intensity of his gaze shocked me to the core, this wanker wasn't playing around._

_"Because I'm his brother!", Alfred bit back._

_Gilbert frowned, tightening his grip. "Brothers? Ja, you are brothers. But if it weren't for your appearances, no one would think you were even related.", he stated, simply letting go of Alfred and letting him crumple to the ground. "Have you ever treated him as one or maybe notice him once in a while? Huh?", Gilbert growled, his pale hands curled into fists at his side. Not letting the blonde finish, he continued. "You barely know him! What kind of family are you?"_

_"Hell, we are his family!", the scowling Italian cut in._

_They brushed him off. Gilbert's lips curled into a sneer. "What right do you have? You're just Birdie's cocky, stupid, brawny, goddamn good for nothing look alike! Do you know how many times he's cried because you forgot him! How lonely and sad he was!", he took a deep breath before continuing his tirade. "__**Nien!**__ Because you, all of you forgot him! Never noticed him! Neglected him! Mistaking him for his dummkopf of a brother! Too wrapped up in your own petty little lives!", he snarled, seething._

_Guilt and shame welled up inside. He...he was right, we were a bloody horrible family. His words hit straight home._

_Alfred, for once, did not rise to the bait, instead turned his head away in guilt and regret._

_"Gilbert, that's enough.", the thin Asian boy spoke firmly._

_"Loung!", the petit girl shook her head. The Asian boy, Loung, sighed wearily and reluctantly backed down._

_He swung his head of white towards me. "And you! What kind of father are you!", he stalked towards me. "How could you of all people forget him! You are his father for gott's sake! How could you not tell the damn difference between them!" I closed my eyes, steeling myself for what he would snap at me._

_"You don't deserve to be his goddamn family!"_

_"B-but...I love him.", Alfred whimpered in a small voice._

_I turned my head to the side. Taking a shuddering breath, I opened my mouth. "I-I know I wasn't a good father, but I loved the lad. If...if I could turn back time and do everything over again, I bloody would.", I sighed with a heavy heart._

_The albino's eyes narrowed into slits. "That's a load of bull. You're not sorry, you're guilt and shame is eating away at you. You don't love him! You just feel bad for never noticing him! You regret ignoring him like a piece of trash! You regret not spending time with him!", he raged, threading his pale hands into his silver hair. "He was a one in a million kid. Even if you cried a river, an ocean...he's never come back! Never! You can't change what happened! You can't never change your mistakes!", Gilbert growled, taking a deep, angered breaths._

_"You __**killed**__ him!"_

_And with that Gilbert took off, tears glittering in his carmine eyes. A ghost of a tear going down his cheek._

Poppet, that friend of your's must really be fond you. Your friends, they truly loved you like family. We - we could never compare to them... _(Never)_

Placing the picture frame back onto the nightstand, I rolled over onto my side. Taking another swig, I mused about your father, that bloody wanker, frog. Well, I guess he's not all that bad... _(You loved him) _Aside from the fact of his perversion, his willingness to get into everybody's, scratch that, anybody's pants. And that as well going around, twittering in French, his 'langage de l'amour'. Pff, language of love, my arse.

He was very shocked by your passing, he seemed shaken very badly by it. _(Of course, he was the one who found you)_ I saw him just a few days ago, he seemed like whole different kind of person. Not the affectionate, loving father you knew, not the flashy, idiotic Frenchman I knew. _(I was scared, I only seem him like that once)_ I had decided to visit him, to return something to him. It was that bear he gave you, to one you always brought everywhere when you were a tot.

I knocked on the door and the person who opened the door, was the frog. I was totally shocked, the frog did not look like himself. His hair was tangled and matted, not like his usual neat, tangle-free blonde tresses. The frog's eyes were what flabbergasted me the most. They lost their normal, mischievous spark, they were the eyes of a broken person. _(The only other time I saw him look like that was when Jeanne passed away.)_

After handing him your bear, I didn't see him again. Well, I hope he's fairing better than me. _(Not really)_

Reaching into my pant's pocket, I fished out a faded ribbon. It was faded crimson colour and frayed at the edges. I grasped it tightly into my hand as if it would disappear if I didn't. This ribbon brought up a distant memory, it started to unwound in my head as I brought it to my lips, that turned into a bitter smile.

_"Dad! Dad! Help! DAD!", an annoying, slightly distressed voice shouted._

_I sighed, putting my cup of Earl Grey down. "What now?", I muttered, walking down the hall towards the boys' room. What does that brat want now? I thought maybe with Matthew here, that he would keep him busy. Guess not._

_Opening the door to their room, I asked. "What, Alfred?"_

_The moment I stepped in that tot started to rambled, ignoring him, I blinked at the sight before me._

_Alfred was standing in front of me, his arms failing as he tried to explained what had happened. On the bottom of the bunk bed was a small form, curled into a ball. It had golden locks, wearing simple pyjamas, soft sniffles and whimpers emitted from the tiny frame. Small balls of white fluff littered near the bed, over the wooden floor._

_My eyes hardened. "Alfred, what happened?", I demanded sternly, gazing sharply at the tot._

_The boy raised his hand to nervously scratch his cheek, grinning sheepishly. "Eheh...I, well, really wanted to see Mattie's bear...But he didn't let me, so I grabbed it and he grabbed it and...yeah...", he glanced guiltily at his brother._

_I let out a long sigh. "I told you not to fester him, he's still trying to adjust."_

_"I know, but we were playing and...you know...", Alfred flailed his arms around franticly, trying to show his point. And started his senseless prattling again._

_I growled under my breath, trying to gather my thoughts. However, Matthew's muffled sobs and Alfred's useless rambling only irritated me. Pinching the bridge of my nose. I need to stay calm, I told myself._

_Stepping towards the bed, I kneeled down beside Matthew. Alfred soundlessly at my side._

_"Matthew, stop crying. This won't help your bear.", I chided the small child for his tears. There was no reason for tears. Reaching under him for the bear, I said, "Give me the bear and I'll fix-"_

_I was abruptly cut off when the small frame gave a soft cry and jerked sharply, shielding the bear with his body. A bit peeved but undeterred, I tried again and again and again and again and again. And the lad kept on dodging and dodging and dodging and dodging and dodging._

_I was getting frustrated and my words became harsher each time._

_"Matthew, just give me the-", I tried reasoning with him. But he stubbornly shrunk away from me, trying to meld with the wall. "Give it, nothing is going happen to it!", I growled, dangerously close to exploding, once again tried to reach for that blasted bear. He whimpered and bolted, brushing past me and into the closet. The tot slammed the door shut, sobbing could still be heard._

_I growled, stalking after him. "For heaven's sake, hand it over!", I yelled through the door._

_I cut myself off, letting out a angered sigh, I glared at the wood. "Listen now,", my voice was low and firm. "Cease your blubbering and open the door."_

_A small force shoved me to the side. Alfred._

_I glowered at him. "What are you doing?"_

_He glanced nervously at me and then at his door. "Just shush!", he whispered loudly._

_The tot leaned against the door. "Hey...Mattie, don't worry,", he murmured, holding onto the brass doorknob tightly. "Dad, just wants to help, really."_

_The blubbing slowed down and quieted._

_"He'll give your bear back when he's done fixing it. He won't take your bear away, Dad will make your bear all better.", Alfred coaxed, he smiled brightly when a soft click was heard. An eye peered through a small crack in the door._

_"He might seem mean at times but he's really a big softie on the inside.", he whispered, through the small crack._

_"Dad, you'll give it back right?", Alfred turned to me._

_"Y-yes, of course." I was slightly shocked. Is that what he was thinking? That I wouldn't give his stuffed toy back? What in the world would I do would do with it? Hmm..Well, I guess its reasonable logic, I did take him away from the frog. The bear is from that wanker..._

_The door widened a bit and finally swung open, nearly catching Alfred. Matthew was pressed tightly against the door frame was his sobbing hitched for a brief moment. He slowly raised his head, seeming to trust his brother and his more kinder approach. His teary indigo eyes stared with disbelief and frail hope at his look alike, his lower half of his face buried into the bear's fur._

_"See, Dad said it! I told ya that he was gonna give your bear back. I knew it, 'cause I'm a hero!", Alfred beamed down at him._

_This seemed to gain the sniffling lad's trust because he gingerly held his bear out for Alfred. The older twin flashed me a bright grin and carefully received the bear._

_"Dad! Fix it!", he cried standing in front of me proudly._

_"Wait,", I grumbled, standing up. I bent down to pick up the pieces of fluff on the wooden floor boards._

_After I was done, I turned on my heel and out of the room. The twins followed on my heels, one quiet, the other babbling away. I went straight to my study, sitting down into my chair, I dug into the drawer for my sewing basket._

_Ignoring them, I quickly did my work. And in about a half hour, I finished, looking up. I realized that the two brothers weren't hovering over my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that they were curled up on the lounge. Without myself noticing, my lips tilted upwards. Reluctantly, I admit it. They were adorable, one might dare say cute, although I will never say that aloud._

_I turned my attention back to the bear, holding it into the air, I smirked at my handiwork. The tear in it's side was gone and it looked as good as new. While scrutinizing the stuffed animal, I felt something was missing. Putting the bear down, I rummaged through my sewing basket. Aha! I pulled out a bright red ribbon and wrapped it around the bear's furry neck. I stood up and placed the bear beside the sleeping tots._

_Quietly, I exited the room to get another cup of Earl Grey._

_As I was returning to my study, a soft tug on my leg stopped me. I paused, looking down, I was surprised to see Matthew there. His hand was fisted in the material of my trousers, in his free arm was the bear. He trembled slightly, looking extremely nervous._

_My eyes softened. "Yes?"_

_His indigo eyes darted around. "Umm...ah...T-thank you!", he blurted out bashfully, burying his face into the fur of his bear._

_I smiled softly, and placed an affectionate hand on the crown of his head. "No problem, lad."_

If only it stayed that way. _(But things change)_ I can't believe how foolish we were. How ignorant. How pathetic. How disgusting. _(I can't seem to look at myself these days)_ I am a horrible father, I admit it. I'm surprise how you would brush it off when we forget you, ignore you or mistake you for your brother. How valiant. How painful. How forlorn.

I-I'm sorry, luv, I really am. How could we not see our actions and words were as hurtful as knifes? I apologize for our unintentional cruelty. I apologize for everything. Everything. _(But it's too late now, isn't it) _We neglected you and this is our sin. We can never wash the blood from our hands.

I stared at the window and outside the stars glittered above, as if they were smiling. And somehow deep in my heart, something stirred inside of me. A curtain of cold and warmth enveloped me, luring me into the dark abyss of sleep.

_A river materialized in front of me, the soft, lush grass under me. The skies were a bright cerulean blue, fluffy, white clouds dotted the horizon. Soft footsteps came and I turned around..._

The next morning I woke up, remembering bit and parts of my dream. I remembered warm, gentle hands caressing my own, rubbing away the red stains on them away. The water turning red and then returning to their normal clear colour. Placid indigo eyes burned in the back of my eyes lids. And haunting me was a soft tune, sung by a soft, whispering voice.

A sandy blonde man sat in a kitchen, a steaming cup of tea in front of him. The pale gray morning light streamed through the curtains, illuminating the kitchen. The man paid no heed to the light, instead he held the china tightly. His emerald eyes were glazed over as he stared into the tea. Prominent eyebrows furrowing, as if he was trying to remember something. His mouth opened to whisper hoarse words in broken French:

_Au clair de la lune_

_Mon ami Pierrot_

_Prête-moi ta plume_

_Pour écrire un mot_

_Ma chandelle est morte_

_Je n'ai plus de feu_

_Ouvre-moi ta porte_

_Pour l'amour de Dieu_

* * *

><p>Leave a review or not...<p>

-Insanity


	3. Twin

H-hi, this is the third chapter. Just for a heads up...this is the second last chapter meaning the last one is the next one.

Thanks to everyone who review/alerted/favourited!

_Note: _Loung = Hong Kong, Lili = Liechtenstein, Katyusha/Yekaterina = Ukraine

**Disclaimer: **Hidekaz Himaruya owns Hetalia.

* * *

><p><strong>Requiem for the Insignificant<strong>

A Bond (A Heart)

Broken-hearted sobs ripped through the air. Loud thumps accompanied it.

I hiccupped, trying to steady my breathing, panting harshly as my chest heaved for air. Tears trickled down my cheeks, dampening my shirt. I hastily took off my glasses and wiped them the best I could. _(Was this me?)_

A knock made me freeze. I held my breath, who was that?

"Alfred?", a British accented voice came through the door. I remained silent, hoping that he'd go away.

"Alfred, you git, I know that you're in there.", Dad growled. I could just picture him outside my door, leaning against the doorframe. His head of sandy blonde hair pressed against the door, annoyance and slight concern flitting across his features.

"If you don't open your door by the time I count to three, I am going to drag your bloody arse out of there!", a threat was laced into his voice.

"One.", I scrambled to my feet, rubbing my cheeks furiously.

"Two", I hastily put my glasses back on.

"Th-"

The door slammed open. I plastered a happy smile onto my face. "Hi, Dad! What up?", I grinned cheekily down at him.

He looked really tired and weary. His clothes were wrinkled and he looked like he hasn't shaved in a while. His sandy hair was wild and mussed up, dark bags under his eyes. Dad's usual sharp green eyes were dull, bloodshot and screamed, 'tired'. Basically, he looked horrible. But, hey, I bet I look just a bad as him.

He huffed without much energy. "Don't 'what up' me, you git."

"Did you get any sleep?", Dad asked, suddenly filled with concern, reaching out to hold my chin.

I backed away discreetly, scratching my cheek. "Not really...", I said, my smile faltering. He frowned, eyes studying me closely and leaned back, sighing.

"I didn't either." A somewhat relaxed silence settled over us.

"Are you hungry?", Dad broke the silence, with a distant look on his face.

"Wha? No way! I'm not hungry!", I laughed, scratching the back of my head.

He gave me an incredulous look. "You're always hungry."

I forced another smile. "No, I'm just a lil' tired.", I grinned, trying to reassure him. He eyed me with doubt, then nodded and reluctantly slipped back into his room.

I quickly turned back to my room, my happy mask crumbling. I felt like my energy was drained. I mutely curled up on the floor, suddenly finding it hard to breath. I let out a confused whimper, my hands gripping my hair, nails digging into my scalp. M-mattie? I don't get it, why did you leave us? _(Leave me?)_ You're suppose to be outside in the sun, laughing with your friends not six feet under the ground!

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Why, Mattie? Why! I promised that I would protect you! _(Something I always went back on)_ What kind of hero am I if the person I'm saving dies? I'm the hero, the hero is suppose to die first, to protect the ones they love. _(B-but then, why am I alive and you're not?) _I'm the hero, I'm the one whose suppose to sacrifice his life for others, not you! If I had been a better brother and noticed that you were hurting, that I could've saved you. I'm not a hero! I-I'm not a hero...If I can't save my own brother, then there's no point in being one. _(I'm a horrible person)_

I broke another promise, I promised that I wouldn't sulk and cry. But then, why the hell am I on the floor? I could feel the traitorous tears burning the back of my eyes. Damn, I can't even keep a freaking promise to myself. _(What a failure I am)_

He- Gilbert's right, that conceited ass is right. I am a freaking horrible brother. I don't even know what your favourite colour is, hell, I sometimes even forget that you exist! What kind of brother am I? _(Please, don't hate me!)_

I wish everything was better, just everything. I wish it was back then, when we were little. Where you could go around and we would all notice you. Shoot, I really, really am a jerk. Why couldn't it be like the good ol' days...

_I stood in the background, watching a twelve year old me run up to a twelve year old you. You were sitting under the maple tree in our backyard, reading a book._

_"Mattie!", he laughed, a full blown grin hung on his lips. Behind his back and in his hand was a crudely made card and a bronze pocket watch._

_"Hmm...", you hummed looking up from your book, closing it and quickly putting it to the side._

_"Look what-"_

_A loud slam came from the house. You froze, the younger me scratched my head sheepishly and I smiled softly, knowing what was gonna happen. "Alfred, you prat! Come back here!", a crossed, British accented voice yelled. A man with sandy blonde hair and vivid green eyes stalked towards us, his irritation was clearly expressed. He stormed over, eyes glaring daggers at the younger me._

_"D-dad, is something wrong?", you blinked innocently at the agitated man._

_Dad looked startled to see you there. "O-oh, no. Nothing is wrong. Isn't that right, Alfred?", he said through gritted teeth, glowering at him for an answer._

_The younger me gave a nervous laugh, "'Course not!"_

_"Anyways,", he gave Dad a sly look, ", he has somethin' ta give ya!"_

_You tilted your head to the side. "What is it?"_

_Dad flushed a pale pink. "Err...I-I..ugh...umm...", the usually fierce man stuttered apprehensively._

_I sighed from the background. Dad was really bad at that family and that mushy lovey-dovey stuff. Back then he was and is still. He can't even say, I love you, to his own kids without stuttering and blushing. Oh, man! He's such a big softie. Is that why he hates Francis?_

_The younger version of me stepped in, he held up my hand in front of your face. Dangling from a chain was a bronze pocket watched with cool, heroic designs etched into it. He smirked. "Dad wanted ta give this to you." Then, he raised my other hand, in it was a crude, yet-so-heroic-looking card. "And this is from me.", he beamed at you. "Happy birthday, Mattie!"_

_Dad shifted from side to side. "Yes, happy birthday, poppet.", he sputtered._

_You stared at the watch and card, indigo eyes watering. You leapt up to tackle Dad and him into a hug._

_"Thank you! Merci! Merci beaucoup!", you cried, holding them tight._

_He gave a heroic grin. "No problem, 'cause I'm a hero!"_

_"Uh, you're welcome.", Dad muttered faintly._

_You released us, a soft smile playing on your pale features. You put your hand in your pocket, fishing out something. Grabbing his hand, you put it into his palm. "Happy birthday, Alfred.", you murmured, smiling._

_The younger me blinked, uncurling my fingers. He gapped at the trinket in his hand. A pendant hung on a silver chain, the pendant was an eagle. It was about a bit bigger than his thumb and had snow white and brown feathers, wickedly sharp talons, a hooked beak and a piercing amber eye seemed to stare at the younger version of me._

_"Wow! This is soooo cool! Thanks, Mattie!", he flung an arm over your shoulder._

_Dad smiled at us. "That's nice, now, why don't we go inside for some cake?"_

_His eyes widened like saucers. "CAKE!"_

_The younger me took off with you in tow, leaving a trail of dust behind._

_"Alfred, you git! Don't run in the bloody house!"_

I gripped the eagle with my hand, my lips curling into a fond and sad smile. _(Why didn't it stay that way?)_ I miss you so much, I feel like I'm floating on a cloud these days, everything like a fog. I haven't been to school for days, I couldn't face them. _(I couldn't face your friends) _I couldn't look at anyone that somehow had a connection with you, it's just too painful.

I can't believe that day you died, I acted like such a jerk. _(Proves that I am no hero)_ I'm such an idiot! How could I spend my time ranting about being hero, when I am not._ (I'm not, I'm not)_

Tears trickled down my cheeks. I made no move to stop them. I felt like I was struggling to breathe, couldn't breathe. I touched my neck, grimacing when I pressed against raw bruises. I shivered, feeling invisible hands gently wrapped around my neck, firmly applying pressure. _(I deserve this)_

_"Ve, Alfredo, are you okay?", a happy Italian asked me, concern shone in his eyes._

_"Wha...? Oh, I'm fine, Feli.", I plastered a smile on my face, glancing at the hamburger in my hands. I didn't feel like eating, but I stuffed it down anyways. Upon seeing his worried, doubtful look, I flashed him a bright grin and my infamous heroic thumbs-up._

_"Are you sure?", Kiku said softly, Feliciano stared at me, worried._

_I nodded fervently, stuffing another hamburger into my mouth._

_"Alfred, da?", a deep, resonant voice came from behind me._

_I spun around, glaring at the tall Russian. Behind him, crowding around our lunch table were; a scowling Italian, a poker-faced Asian teen and a semi cheery-looking Spaniard. A certain, self-centered albino jerk nowhere to be seen._

_Feliciano inclined his head in confusion at the sight of his older brother. "Fratello, why are you here?"_

_The older Italian's amber eyes soften. "It's none of your business, just get out of here.", he growled softly._

_"Lovino, what are you doing?", Feli inquires again, staring at the elder with bewilderment._

_He adverts his gaze, "It's nothing."_

_"Really, Feli, it's nothing! We just have to borrow your friend for a moment.", Antonio butt in, giving Feli a smile._

_My happy mask faltered, my lips twitching. "What do ya need?", I asked, spitting some food._

_The Spaniard and the grumpy Italian both stepped back and grimaced at the pieces of food that landed on the floor. Lovino glared at me, his amber gaze held contempt in their depths. "Let's go, burger bastard."_

_I stood up, putting my hamburger down and made my way to follow them. As I left, I turned around to give Kiku and Feli, a thumbs-up to reassure them. They hesitantly waved back. We exited the cafeteria with Ivan was in the lead, the Asian boy, Loung, trailing behind him, flanking my side was Antonio and Lovino was in the rear. When we were almost out of school, I whipped my head around, almost certain that Gilbert would jump out of nowhere. Just like he had done a few days ago near my house._

_Antonio caught my eyes. "Alfred, mi amigo, what are you looking for?", he probed, but I could see in his green eyes that he already knew the answer._

_"Where's Gilbert?", I replied, lips twitching, trying to form a smile._

_"Oh, Gil? He's not feeling well.", the usual cheery Spaniard spoke in a sombre tone, eyes dim._

_"Oh, really? I thought he would like, jump out like a ninja and attack me!", I joked, laughing. He gave a tentative chuckle, his eyes pained._

_"Will you shut the hell up!", Lovino snapped lividly and suddenly, amber eyes ablaze._

_I blinked obliviously at him. "It was just a joke, Lovi.", Antonio tried to calm the infuriated Italian down._

_"Shut your trap, tomato bastard!", he barked sharply, Antonio quickly backed down._

_"I'm sick and tired of you laughing and smiling like nothing happened!", Lovino shouted, furious._

_I turned away, lips twitching again. Remorse and guilt swelled in my chest, a lump formed in my throat. My eyes stung, I didn't want them to see my tears. So I stared at the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting._

_"Don't you care? Don't you care that your brother died?", he yelled, balling his fists. I winced, the stinging in the back of my eyes increased. "You stupid, son of a bitch! Why the hell are you so happy? You were always laughing and wasting your worthless life away, never knowing that Matteo was silently suffering. Now, he's dead, everyone know the truth and you're just acting like nothing happened and goddamn smiling!"_

_I managed to give a bitter smile, tears silently slipping down my cheeks. I didn't care that they saw me crying anymore._

_The smile further ignited the small Italian's temper. "What's wrong with you!", Lovino suddenly lunged forward, Antonio quickly grabbed his shoulders._

_"Lovi, don't!"_

_I turned to watch, when I saw a fist, swinging my way. I backed up, swearing aloud in pain. My hand gingerly touching my bruised cheek. "Shoot! What the...", I trailed off, noticing that the hand that punched me didn't belong to a certain angry Italian. I gapped, it belonged to the Asian teen, Loung. He tucked his fist back into his wide, long sleeve of his wine coloured shirt. His face was expressionless and stoic, yet I saw a glimmer of cold fury in his dark, dark brown eyes._

_"He...he was a good kid. Always helped others and never asked for anything. And in return, people just forget about him and mistook him for you! I don't even know _what_ he saw in you.", Lovino hissed, shoulders shaking with rage. He trashed violently against his friend's grip._

_"He deserved to live, goddamn it!", he screamed, breaking down into tears._

_I bit the inside of my good cheek harshly, barely noticing the metallic tang. Tears started to cease, my smile started to wither away._

_"Comrade Antonio, bring him back inside, da?", Ivan's voice rang out._

_"Si-"_

_"No!", Antonio was abruptly cut off by Lovino's snarl._

_"But, Lovi!"_

_"I said no!"_

_"Loung, mi amigo, help me, por favor?"_

_Loung quietly took hold of the thrashing teen and they hauled him back into school. Lovino's amber eyes locked onto mine as colourful strings of curses and profanities flew from his lips. We watched them until they went in, Ivan turned to me._

_"I am very sorry for Loung's actions, forgive him, da?", his tone was apologetic, but there was an undercurrent of mockery and his face was apathetic._

_"Yea, whatever.", I mumbled, cringing in pain, leaning against the wall._

_He gave a super creepy smile, eyes suddenly bright. "Comrade, I need to talk to you about something."_

_I gave him an incredulous look. Since when have we been on speaking terms? And did he just call me COMRADE? "About what? And I'm NOT your freaking comrade!", I glared at the taller teen. He's a no good, piece of trash. Why did Mattie hang out with him?_

_He waved me off like I was a pesky, little kid. Ivan's creepy smile turned sadistic and his purple eyes darkened with an unidentifiable emotion._

_"So, what is it?", I asked dumbly._

_"It's about Matvey."_

_I tensed, lips twitching again, "What about my bro?"_

_Ivan ignored my question, taking steps forward, trapping me against the brick wall of the school. I sneered at him, "What do you want?" He gave no reply, only narrowing his violet eyes. Without warning, I found Ivan's hand's around my throat. I choked, clawing vehemently at him hand, leaving angry red lines. "B-ba-bastard...", I gasped, eyes wide._

_The Russian's eyes flickered from mauve to claret, taking on a red pigment. "Shut up."_

_I huffed, glaring daggers at him, even though my lungs felt like exploding._

_He leaned in until our faces were only mere inches away from each other. "I hate you, you know that.", Ivan stated listlessly. "And I know you hate me." I rolled my eyes. No, duh! His eyes narrowed, grip tightening. "Don't give me that look, or you might regret it.", he warned in a off-handish manner._

_"Your insolence, your ignorance and your stupidity. It disgusts me.", the tall Russian disparaged, voice low and tinged with ice. "I don't want to see you at school. And I do not want to see you smiling that pathetic smile of yours. It sickens me. Why does Matvey have a brother like you? You do not have the privilege to smile, while Matvey is gone.", he said in disdain, sneering at me._

_"Nor do I want to you anywhere near my comrades. Not Antonio. Not Lovino. Not Loung or Lili. Not near Gilbert.". He sang out his friends names in a sadistic way, that cruel smile growing with every word. "And. Don't. Even. Think. Of. Yekaterina.", he hissed balefully into my ear._

_I suppressed shivers coming up my spine, just focused on trying to breathe and my slightly swollen cheek._

_"Understand, da?", his eyes turned back to their normal violet colour._

_I nodded my head, uttering a soft defeated, 'yes'. Satisfied by my answer, he let go, I gave away to the ground. My eyes flickered up to stare at him._

_He pulled on his gloves, a feral smile playing on his lips. "Don't forget what I said, comrade.", he chuckled and spun on his heel, walking back to school._

_I watched him go from my place from the ground, wheezing. I reached into my shirt, gripping my necklace tightly, gazing blankly at the ground. Slowly, Ivan's words sunk in and I grit my teeth. I couldn't cry anymore...I had no more tears to cry. But anger and sadness weighed heavily on my heart._

My hands wrapped loosely around my neck, the feeling of the invisible hands disappeared, chasing the cold, burning sensation away.

I silently growled, remembering Ivan's words. _(They don't understand, they know nothing) _They never understood me like you did. They think I'm just an oblivious, reckless idiot with a hero complex. Most of that is true, but do they _really _know what I'm thinking?

Do they know that I smile to keep others happy? _(Feli...Kiku...) _Or that I smile just to keep from remembering? I smile to keep tears at bay? I smile to keep others from worrying? I smile to keep the pain away? Do they know? _(No)_ The only one that has ever known this was you. No one will ever know the pain behind this happy façade, no one.

My anger faded away, numbness took its place. The cold seeped into my flesh and into my bones. The empty feeling in my chest grew, spreading quickly. I whimpered. Out of the blue, a streak of bright light flashed, followed by a loud boom. I found myself letting out a sharp cry of fear. _(Mattie, make it stop!)_ Fear and panic clawed at my chest, but the hollowness remained. My breaths became pants and laboured. Mattie, make it stop, make it stop! Tears slipped down my cheek, onto the wooden floor. Please, I'm sorry! Just stay at my side, please! Don't leave!

_Thunder roared outside and lightning flashed, illuminating the room for mere heartbeats. I huddled under my blanket, shaking, crying softly. The door opened revealing a small figure._

_"Al?", a soft, timorous voice whispered. I bolted straight up, peering at them from under my blanket._

_"M-mattie?", I wailed, shrinking at another loud bang and streak of white light._

_Quiet, light footsteps were barely heard over the loud pitter-pattering of the rain. It stopped by the side of my bed and a slim body slipped under the covers. Something soft brushed against my cheek and something furry touched my arm. I jumped, only to be relieved by to see a head of blonde and a white teddy bear. I latched onto your arm, burying my face into your shoulder._

_"Alfred, are you okay?", you murmured tentatively, shifting your bear around. The wind's howl terrified me and the roars of thunder did not help._

_I shook my head, "Just d-don't l-le-leave me, 'kay?", I stuttered, having a death grip on your arm._

_"I won't.", you breathed faintly, clutching your bear in a vice grip._

_I leaned my head against your chest, listening to the comforting sound your heartbeat. I flinched at more flares of lightning and the frightening claps of thunder. I could hear my heart pound._

_"Pr-promise?", I said in a small voice, my eyes screwed shut._

_A hand rubbed my back. "Promise."_

_Despite my fear, I half smiled. Our heartbeats melded together, two hearts beating as one._

A loud crackled of thunder shook me from reverie. _(Where was it?) _I-I can't hear it! I-I...damn...

The prickling in the back of my eyes increased. I desperately clenched my chest, right where my heart was. I shut my eyes tight and focused. A lone, soft thumping was all I heard. That's when I remembered, you're gone. I remember when we were little and we realized that we could feel each other's hearts beating. We could sense each other's emotions. It was amazing...but even with our bond, I still couldn't feel your pain and sadness. _(How pathetic)_

My hand clutched the spot over my heart, nails digging into the fabric of my shirt. More frightening rumbles and bright flashes. A choked sob escaped from my throat. _(Mattie, help me! I'm-I'm scared)_ The other hand moved to cover my ear.

"Mattie, save me...", I whispered, I felt the emptiness build up inside of me. "Please...don't leave my side.", I whimpered, a fresh wave of tears blurring my vision. The severed bond between you and me, it hurt, it really hurt. "I...I can't breathe, Mattie, help!" It hurt more than the time I jumped off the roof or when I nearly got run over by a car or when Ivan, Gilbert and I got into a huge fight or when you and me have a hockey game. _(The pain, there's so much pain)_ And the emptiness. _(So cold, so hollow)_

I took gasps of air, I ached all over. The lump in my throat did not stop me from crying for you. "Please, please just come back! I won't ignore you anymore! I swear! Please, Mattie!", I sobbed relentlessly, clenching my chest in pain.

Too silence mocked.

**Too late.**

Lightning danced in sky and thunder crackled. A young man lay, curled up on his side. His flaxen hair was in disarray, his blank cerulean eyes shed tears silently. The young man's right hand was clutching the left side of his chest, right over his heart and his other and was entwined into his blonde locks. Occasional slurs of 'Mattie' and apologies leaked from his chapped lips.

_One half could not be one with the other. Two hearts beating as one. When one half is left, it has to beat for both their sakes._

* * *

><p>Ugh...the last, closing sentence is so crappy, sorry about that.<p>

Drop a review, if you want...of course.

-Insanity


	4. Friend

Hi. Sorry, I said I was gonna post this up before I started school... So, yeah, I started high school and already I come home half-dead. Great.

Thanks to everyone who favouited/alerted/reviewed! It lightens up my day.

Also, there are no translation for those little snippets of Russian, German and other stuff. It's cause I'm so lazy and dead shit tired. But you can probably guess/know what they are saying anyways.

I apologize profusely for any mistakes. As for Loung's name, I just realized a while back that he had an english name, Leon. Dang it. -bashes head against wall-

_Note: _Yekaterina Braginskaya/Katyusha = Ukraine; Lili Zwingli = Liechtenstein & Wang Jia Loung/Loung = Hong Kong.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything...Except for a lovely Swiss Army knife. Thank you~

* * *

><p><strong>Requiem for the Insignificant<strong>

A Cut (A Broken Family)

I downed some beer, glowering at my reflection in the mirror.

A pasty face stared back at me. Bloodshot, carmine coloured eyes sullenly glared, matted silver strands of hair hung in front of them. Pale lips set in a derisive frown. Crimson irises held self-depreciation, self-loathe and remorse in their depths. In pale hand was a bottle of beer.

I snarled at the reflection, my free hand tightening into a fist, knuckles white. _(I hate you, I hate me)_ My blood boiled, simmering under my skin. Without any restraint, my fist smashed against the mirror. A loud shattering noise echoed. It cracked, creating a fine, spider web-like pattern, my broken reflection tinged with red.

I brought my fist back, staring at the red ruby liquid on my knuckles in a macabre fashion. I brought it up to my lips, licking the blood away and going back to my place by the window.

I bit my lip, a habit that I picked up from you. Verdammt, I knew something was up. You were acting so unawesome and weird a couple of days before, I should've know. _(Birdie, why?) _I thought you were happy with us. I had thought you weren't hurting anymore... I let out a sharp bark of mordant laughter. _(Guess not) _Maybe...maybe it was something at home or those bullies at school.

I sighed running my hand through my silver hair. You were such a good kid. And so kind. And so forgiving. _(I love and hated that about you) _Because you would always brush stuff off even when you were hurting. Like when people mistake you for your dummkopf of a brother or when that kid from Cuba, Ishmael, beats you up. I hated how you bottled up your anger and took it out on the ice. _(I hated how you forgave your Dad, Papa, Alfred, even me when we have wronged you) _Sometimes, I hated how you smile when you were in pain or how you always put others before yourself.

I loved your selflessness, how you cared so much about others. Or how you took time to help others or actually listen to others. I had always loved that you didn't mind that I was a conceited jerk, that I always boasted about my awesomeness. And that you didn't mind that I called myself Prussian or that I was albino. You were so selfless and kind. _(Why did you decide to become selfish?)_

Staring outside the window, I took a sip of beer and scowled at the scenery. The sun was shining, not a flipping cloud in the sky and the birds were freaking chirping their annoying cheery songs. _(I hate it) _Why should the world be happy while you are gone? I hoped the sun would just freaking burn out, the annoying birds to fall out of the damn trees, dead.

I sneered sardonically at my faint reflection in the glass. I remembered when we found out that you were gone.

_I sat at my lunch table. Loung sat beside me and on my other side were two unoccupied seats. Across the table was Katyusha, on her right was Lili and on her left, my eyes narrowed in distaste, Ivan. On one end on the table, closest to Ivan, there was an empty seat and on the other end of the table, beside Lili, sat her over protective brother, Vash._

_I groaned, putting my feet up on the chair beside me. "Where the hell are Toni and Lovino?"_

_"I did not see them in the hallways.", said Katyusha, poking her salad with her fork._

_Lili whispered, "I saw them in class, right before lunch."_

_"Then where did they go, da?", Ivan piped up. The little blonde shook her head apologetically._

_I sighed, glancing at the three empty seats. "First Birdie, now Toni and Lovi."_

_A silence fell over the table. Birdie hasn't been to school for three days. We were all worried._

_I looked over to my brother's, Ludwig's, table. He sat there with Feli, Lovino's brother, and Loung's cousin, Kiku. And strange enough, Birdie's brother was not present either._

_A hand shook my shoulder, I turned to see Loung pointing at the cafeteria entrance. A tan teen with dark brown hair with green eyes was dragging another teen with brown hair and amber eyes. Antonio and Lovino. Kat waved them over. On their way to our table, Feliciano waved to his brother, but deflated when the elder did not wave back._

_I frowned, Lovino may be snappy and rude but he had a soft spot for his brother. Something was wrong._

_As they came closer, the normally cheery Spaniard was not so cheery and the scowling Italian seemed like the whole world pissed him off. When they got to our table, they did not sit, just stood. Ivan and I exchanged apprehensive looks. Katyusha and Lili stared at them with wide eyes, Loung was stoic and Vash seemed apathetic._

_"Oi, albino bastard!", Lovino's snappy voice made me snap my head to look at him._

_"Was?", I asked, blanking out at the sight of Lovino. His amber eyes were slightly red and he looked like he was on the verge of crying and ready to rip someone's head off at the same time._

_"Did you hear?", he said softly._

_"Hear what?", Ivan inquired, violet eyes gleaming in curiosity._

_Antonio looked to the side, his jaw clenched tightly. Lovino breathed in harshly, a tear slid down his cheek. "M-matteo is gone.", his voice cracked._

_What? What does he mean 'gone'? How could Birdie be gone? Or maybe do they mean- I cut myself off. Such unawesome thoughts I had. They are probably playing a joke on us. Yeah, that's right._

_But then a little voice whispered in my head. __**They are not.**_

_"He's dead.", Antonio supplied, his voice a void of all emotions._

_A tense silence distilled over the table, something not even the chatter of the cafeteria could break._

_I shook my head violently, not really believing it, denying it. Ivan was strangely quiet, violet eyes dim staring at his lunch listlessly. Kat's gray-blue eyes filled with tears, her hands flying to her mouth, trying to muffle her sobs. Bowing his head low, Loung let silent tears slip down his face, his hands and arms trembled as he gripped his arms from under his long sleeves. Vash was hugging a crying Lili to his chest, whispering soft words of comfort to her deaf ears._

_Katyusha softly whimpered. "W-when?"_

_Antonio shrugged. "I don't know." He sat down, staring outside the window with a vacant expression._

_I flinched. I preferred the angry Antonio over this one. When he was angry, he was more easier to understand. This Antonio was not my best friend, he was unpredictable. A stranger._

_Kat broke down into even more tears. "сестра__.", __Ivan whispered, drawing her close with his arms. He put his cheek on her forehead, whispering things in Russian. Her broken-hearted sobs made my vision swim with tears._

_I let out a sharp bark of laughter, grating against my ears. Sounding so fake and callous. "Lovino, that's a good joke.", I grinned painfully._

_He glowered through his tears. "It's not a joke.", he said in a choked growl before bolted away. We watched him go in broken silence, Katyusha's sobs filling it._

A sharp rap on my door made me blink.

"Bruder, are you okay?", a low, serious voice came through the door.

I nodded stupidly, forgetting that Ludwig couldn't see me. "Ja, I'm fine. Why did you ask?", I rasped.

"I heard a loud noise.", he responded.

"Oh, that. I just dropped something.", I lied, although I knew that my brother wouldn't buy it.

He sighed. "Osten, don't lie."

A brittle grin tugged on the corner of my lips. "Aw, West, why would you think I'm lyin'?"

"Bruder, I have known you for all my life, you think that I wouldn't know if you were lying or not?", West stated, slight disappointment in his tone.

I remained silent, hoping that he would leave. I dunno if Karma hates me or something, but he didn't leave. So I said, "Really West, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Osten...I am going to leave now, but I,", West paused, "...Ich liebe dich.", he said very softly.

My grin became more lively. "Ich liebe dich auch."

As his footsteps faded away, the stupid grin did not. West was a really tough guy that had a hard time expressing stuff. We were kinda embarrassed to say this stuff. I'm just glad to know this, even though I already know without him saying it. He is my only family.

I sighed. Speaking of family. Birdie, everything changed since you flew away. _(I like to think that you decided to fly, rather than...) _We've all kinda parted ways. You were the peace keeper among our family. You could stop Ivan and me from fighting. You could stop Lovino from biting people's heads off. You could read Loung like an open book. You could make Antonio laugh when he's down. You made Vash trust you with Lili. You make Ivan smile. You could stop Katyusha from crying. You made me less conceited. You, Birdie, was what brought us together. The glue of our group and without you... _(Everything is falling apart)_

Ivan didn't seem phased about it, but I could see the shadowed grief in his eyes. No matter how much he tried to hide them, no matter how much he numbed the pain, no matter how much he smiled, I could always sense the pain. _(I guess he has a heart)_

Katyusha...was very distraught about it. _(Of course, she is the softest of all of us)_ Her eyes were red for days, she had dark bags under her eyes and she had random breakdowns during school. Crying out for you.

It's funny that Lovino appears to be tough, but he was the first to cry. _(But your friends dying on you, doesn't happen everyday, does it?) _I never knew he cared so much about you, then again, you guys got along very nicely. He had a soft spot for you too.

Antonio was the cheeriest and happiest of all of us. These days, he is like a different person. Instead of being happy-go-lucky, he's more distant, sombre and quiet. _(Its like a part of him died) _I want the old Antonio back.

Loung was and is the most stoic and impassive guy that I have ever known. Somehow, you, Birdie and him got be friends. When he cried for you, I was in total shock. _(Who wouldn't cry?)_ Ever since then, he's stuck to my side.

Vash had threatened me not to mention you in front of Lili. She was just as upset as Kat, but to a quieter extent. _(Quiet, little Lili...) _I haven't seen her at school for a few days either.

To make it worse, we had a fight just a few days ago. They were going to put you to rest. They wanted me to go, but I didn't want to. I couldn't bear to see them bury you into the cold earth. _(It would be like watching them clip your wings)_

I remembered the two hour scream fest we had over the phone about going to your funeral. _(It was a doozy) _I every so freaking fondly remember...Ivan and I threatening each other, Katyusha begging for me to go, Lili trying to coax me, Lovino and I screaming at each other, swearing like there was no tomorrow. Loung and I exchanging curt words and Antonio's sadden voice when he tried to convince me to go, Lovino cursing me the whole time in the background. Katyusha's sobbing pleas. Lili's quiet murmurs. Ivan's crazy assed laugh. Loung's Chinese swear words. Antonio's cries. Lovino's colourful profanities.

In the end, I didn't go. End of that unawesome story. Verdammt, my throat still hurts from all that screaming.

Another...another reason I didn't want to go was because. Because I knew it was partly my fault. My fault. _(Don't deny it, Birdie) _I knew. I flipping knew! I knew that**–** _(That you were cutting, hurting yourself)_ I should've known something was up. I-I should've!

I knew that you had suicidal thoughts. _(I knew that you hurt yourself.) _I **knew**.

Yet, because of these thoughts, we became friends. A cynical smile touched my lips. _(Oh, the goddamn irony.)_

_I walked down the sidewalk, smirking to myself. The smirk quickly faded, I sighed. What was the point of skipping school if there was no one to spend it with? Toni was doing some P.E thingy, Roddy is a goody-goody, Lizzie is practically stuck with Roddy...West is a goody-goody, Feli always stuck with West... This sucks._

_I didn't want to go home, no one would be there to welcome me there anyways. Not Mutter, not Vater. I headed to the one place that I only knew about and it wasn't very far from school. I started to head towards a dusty, deserted trail._

_A few minutes later, an abandoned bridge came into sight. It loomed over a large, swollen river, the water was black and murky. The water roared, rushing, spilling over it's banks._

_Something peculiar caught my eye, a person stood perched on the pole of the bridge. They kinda looked like a little baby bird trying to take flight. They were looking down at the water, silent tears running down their cheeks. They had blonde hair and glasses and looked kinda familiar. As I approached, he looked like that dummkopf from school, Alfred. But they were different, their hair was slightly longer, wavier and their eyes were kinda purplish. They looked depressed and looked like he was going to jump._

_Shoot! I ran up the bridge. "Oi, kid! What do you think you're doing?"_

_He looked back, blinking his purple-blue eyes. Looking like a kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar. His legs wobbles._

_"Kid, get down here! Hey, don't ignore me!", I shouted, hoping it would distract him._

_His legs shake, tears spilling. "P-please go away. I-I-I need to d-do this!", he cried softly._

_I glared at him. "Won't anybody miss you? You still have a long way to go!" Mein Gott. I sound like an old man, and we are practically the same age!_

_His eyes adverted back to the black water. "No one will miss me.", he said very softly._

_"Dying won't do you any freaking good. Trust me.", I stated dryly._

_He bit his lip harshly. "You d-don't know what I have been through."_

_An awesome plan formulated in my head, I grinned, then quickly wiped it off. I sighed and started to climb onto the railing. "W-what are you doing!", he squeaked with surprise._

_I flashed him a maniacal grin, edging closely to the blonde boy. "Well, if the awesome me can't convince you, then I might as well die."_

_He stared at me like I was crazy. Well, that might be true... I inched closer, wary of any unpredictable movements. He bit his lip again this time drawing out blood, droplets sliding down his chin. He started the water, deep in his thoughts. This is my chance! I grabbed his wrists. The kid let out a sharp cry of pain and I saw bandages peeking out from under his sleeves, stained dark red. He wrenched his wrist out of my grip and fell into the water._

_Holy son of a mother duck! I dived after him. I splashed around in the frigid black water, searching for the kid. Oh, crap...crap...crap...I saw a flash of red and quickly hoisted him out of the water, dragging him onto the shore._

_"Kid, kid!", I yelled, slapping his cheeks. I checked for his breathing and pulse. I sighed in relief. Good, he's still alive._

_I shivered slightly as a cool breeze blew. A soft groan emitted from the wet body beside me, I kneeled over._

_"Did I do it?", a raspy whisper came from his lips. His eyes were half lidded as he asked, "Are you God?"_

_I grinned. "No, but I'm just as awesome."_

_The kid blinked his purple-blue eyes, sitting up, groping around for his glasses. "Here.", I passed him his glasses. After he put them on, he stared at me, recognition flashing in his eyes._

_He started becoming teary-eyed. "W-why did you st-stop me?", he whispered in a pitiful voice._

_I patted his back. "Because, there's a lot a stuff out there for you to see. You have to live life, endure it and maybe you might find something worth livin' for.", I blinked in shock, wow, I said something so...odd..._

_The kid sniffled, his eyes doubtful. I flailed my arms around. "Don't cha worry that pretty little head of your's! Because, just your luck, you met the epical, awesome me, Gilbert!", I held my hand out for him to shake. He cracked a small smile at my antics and hesitantly shook my hand. His hand was cold and clammy, but I didn't mind._

_"I-I'm Matthew.", he murmured._

_"Nice to meet ya, Birdie!", I laughed, despite being cold and wet._

_Birdie raised an elegant eyebrow. "Birdie?"_

_"Yup! Birdie! You kinda looked like bird trying to fly away.", I mused._

_"That's a sick joke.", he said dryly._

_I pouted. "Hey, be honoured to be called Birdie, 'cause you almost as awesome as me! Even though your name is Birdie, you can't fly. So, I don't want to see you jumping off bridges, ja?", I scolded, making a 'tsk, tsk, tsk' motion._

_Birdie's smile grew. "Oui, maman."_

I blinked, noticing my phone was buzzing. A lot. I fished my phone out of my pocket. It was black, sleek and shiny with a very manly yellow chick keychain. I flipped it open, the screen flashed. Hmm..I got six texts.

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: Romano Vargas_

_Hurry, up! Or we will leave w/o u!_

_Damn potato bastard._

_..._

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: CheeryTomatoes~_

_D: Lovi's right, hurry, Gilbo~!_

_..._

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: kolkolkolkol_

_Do not forget, b ready 2 visit Matvey. :)_

_..._

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: KATerina_

_Gilbert, meet us 2:30, outside ur house._

_..._

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: JiaLoung_

_We might walk._

_P.S: Lovino is still mad you. -_-_

_..._

To_: theAWESOMEprussian_

From_: LilyLili_

_Vash is not coming, plz hurry, Lovino is getting angry!_

I swore under my breath, checking the time. 2:14.

I dug through my dresser, looking for something to wear. I threw on a black button-up shirt and a pair of ripped black jeans and I quickly ran a comb through my silver hair. I ran down stairs, I smelled wurst as I sped past the kitchen. I only stopped to put on my black and red tennis shoes. West came 'round the corner, dressed in a pink apron. _(Very manly) _I bit my tongue, trying not to snigger at him.

"Bruder, where are you going?", he asked, blue eyes staring at me in confusion.

"I'm going to see Birdie.", I answered softly.

His eyes widen with understanding. "Be back before dinner.", he reminded me.

"Ja, ja. Later, West!", I shouted, not hearing his reply as I slammed the door behind me.

I got out just in time to see the whole group arrive in a bright red van. Antonio and Lovino having an one-sided argument in the front, Katyusha and Lili speaking softly to each other in the middle, Ivan sat beside his sister, wearing his crazy smile and Loung sat in the back, looking as stoic as usual.

I waved to them, they waved back, well most of them. Tonio lowered the window, "Get in!", he offered a small smile, happy to see me.

I clambered into the back beside Loung, the small Asian nodded politely to me. He seemed calm but I could tell he was excited, yet sad because of the fiddling of his long sleeves.

Kat turned around, a bright smile lit up her face. "It's so nice to see you, Gilbert." I haven't been to school for three days.

I grinned back, knowing it was a hard time for all of us. "You too, Kat."

Then I realized something. "Toni, you're driving?"

"No shit, sherlock.", Lovino scowled from beside the driver's seat.

"Yeah, got my licence last week.", the unusually quiet Spaniard replied.

The rest of the ride was filled with Toni and Lovino's one-sided argument and Kat and Lili's soft conversations. Finally, we arrived at a sombre looking cemetery. The sight of the place seemed to dampen everyone's mood, 'cause Kat and Lili abruptly stopped talking, Tonio and Lovi had stopped their exchange of banters, Loung's fiddly-ing became less discreet, I felt cynical and sentimental and Ivan's creepy smile waned.

We piled out of the car and started to look for his...you-know-what. Loung pulled a small scrap of paper out of his long sleeve and gave it to Antonio. He gave a weak smile. "Gracias, Loung." Muttering under his breath, he started to lead us to his you-know-what.

It was a under an old maple tree, it stood nice and tall, protecting his tombstone from the elements. His tombstone was made out of pure marble with soft streaks of black, silver and gray. Birdie's name, birth and death date were etched into the stone. We all stood around the tombstone in a sadden silence.

It was broken by muffled sobs that emitted from Katyusha, Ivan drapped an arm around his sister, his violet eyes were strangely damp. He pulled a white vase out of his long, tan coat and placed it in front of the tombstone. The vase was filled with sunflowers, the bastard's favourite flowers.

"You can finally rest in peace, мой подсолнечник.", he muttered the end in Russian, his gloved hand tenderly stroking the yellow petal of a sunflower. He stepped back to let Lili and Katyusha to take his place.

Katyusha's hand was placed over her mouth, vainly trying to mute her sobs. Lili gingerly placed a bottle of vodka beside the vase. Ivan gapped at it. The bottle had a very familiar blue ribbon tied around the neck of the bottle. I peered at the small girl, her ribbon was missing from her hair, making her look very like her brother, Vash.

"From Katyusha and I. We will dearly miss you", she whispered, her melancholy green eyes filling with tears.

Katyusha leaned down to brush her fingers against the lettering, mumbling in Ukrainian under her breath. "M-matvey, I-I do not know w-why it h-ha-happened but I h-hope you w-will watch over u-us.", she wailed softly, collapsing onto the fresh dirt. She hugged the tombstone tightly as if she was hugging the real person.

Ivan gently pried his elder sister from the stone. Katyusha thrashed, crying and screaming, 'Matvey' over and over again, like a broken record. Her cries made my eyes sting. After some whispers, the blonde settled down, inaudible whimpers escaping.

Loung moved forward. He kneeled down, setting a glass jar that I did not know that he had. Huh, guess those sleeves of his can hide a lot of stuff... The jar held a bright red tulip.

"Hey...Loung, where did you-"

"Lars.", he said monotonously as he straightened up.

Loung stared at the grave with fondness in his dark brown eyes. His lips twitched upwards for a split second and disappeared as quick as it came. "From Lars and I. Thank you, for everything.", he uttered softly and went back to Lili's side.

Antonio and Lovino reluctantly turned their gazes to the tombstone. Antonio mustered a weak smile, putting his hand onto the stone. "Matteo, I wish your life did not have to end this way. You are forever in our hearts, mi amigo.", his voice shook, his lifeless green eyes filled with tears, bringing them to life.

Lovino glared at the stone as if it had offended him in some way. "You idiot! Why the hell did you have to go and die!", he scowled at the stone. I felt a grin creeping up onto my lips, this is the old Lovino that I knew. "We could've sorted this out.", the Italian let out an angry huff. "Well, who ever has wronged you, I'll kick their sorry ass so hard that their damn great-great-great grandchildren will feel it! I swear!"

After the grumpy teen stomped back to our group, cursing and hissing, I reached up around my neck. I unhooked my necklace and laid it in the grass. The silver and black Iron Cross, nestled onto the grass. A maniacal grin broke out on my face.

"Nice to see ya, Birdie!", I awkwardly patted the cold marble. I sighed wistfully. "I miss you like hell. But that's okay, I have been alone before.", I murmured painfully, trying to reassure him, mainly myself.

The grin was replaced by a fond, tender smile. "Even when I am old and crazy, I will _always_ remember you. Ich liebe dich, Birdie." A single tear rolled down my cheek.

I quickly wiped it away, a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders, "Let's go!"

The others nodded in agreement and started to walk back to the car. Tonio and Lovino having another one-sided argument, Lili and Loung speaking softly and Kat walked with her arm linked with Ivan's, who looked very uncomfortable.

I smirked, looking back at the grave. A faint glimmer caught my eye and I could see a faded outline of a person. They had wavy blonde hair and indigo eyes. My breath hitched in my throat, "...Birdie?" They smiled gently and waved. In a daze, I waved back.

I blinked in shock and in a flash Birdie was gone.

"Gilbo, are you coming?", Tonio called from the car.

"Yeah!", I yelled back. I whipped my head around and tried to memorize every single details of it. 'Cause I don't know when I'll be back.

"Now you can fly, Birdie."

A young man sat beside a maple tree, he had silvery-white hair and ruby red eyes. In his hand was an Iron Cross, his crimson gaze focused on it, confusion and bittersweet happiness flitting across his pale features. A faded form of another person sat next to the albino. The faded young man had a slightly wavy flaxen locks, glasses and purple-blue eyes. A gentle smile graced his lips. The albino glanced at the faded person, a feral grin lit up his face.

* * *

><p>I hope the ending wasn't bad.<p>

Review, anyone? -cricket, cricket-

-Insanity


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